N.B. This is a rough draft of a story I'll be submitting to a literary magazine in the near future. I'm posting it for your generous feedback and also because it evidences that I've been writing, even if it's not on The Open Road, and despite that I really should be grading final exams.I was never the type to imagine my own wedding. My childhood imagination preferred to amble somewhere between what it might be like to be married to Officer Jon from the late ‘70’s show Chips and what it might look like if Officer Jon and I set up house. When my friend Liz and I played in our tree houses (always one tree apart, just like our actual homes were), my pretend kitchen had two refrigerators, just like my actual home did.
After my husband and I moved into our house, we inherited a second refrigerator and put it in our basement. For a while, there was nothing in it except for our leftover wedding cake, which we put in the freezer, mummified in layers of wax paper, Saran Wrap, tin foil, and a white baker’s box. We were saving it for our first anniversary, which came and went, having neglected the cake in the basement in favor of a filling dinner out at our neighborhood Italian bistro. But I thought about the cake. Maybe it would be a romantic surprise for dessert someday.
The next evening, I was doing laundry when my thoughts turned again to the wedding cake. By now, the baker’s box was crowded by frozen leftovers from Thanksgiving, frozen hors d’oeurves party guests hadn’t finished, frozen emergency chicken soup. I excavated deep into the back of the freezer for the box and put it on the dryer. Over a year later, the cake looked as fresh as it had on our wedding night. The fondant began to perspire. I knew I’d had better taste it so as not to inadvertently serve up freezer-burned cake for dessert. I grabbed a plastic fork from the box labeled “paper goods” on the storage shelves.
The cake had turned a little stale; the layer of raspberry was still tart, the fondant, chewy with a hint of freezer burn, but sweet. It was nothing my husband would want for dessert, I knew that much. So I kept sampling.
Before the dryer cycle had ended, a quarter of the top layer had been finished. To rephrase, with propriety: I had eaten a quarter of what was left of our anniversary cake. I’m certain that with every bite, I thought about my father, who’d just passed away from pancreatic cancer; or why we weren’t getting pregnant yet; or how it would be go back into the classroom in a few weeks with the cloud of depression over me. With every swallow, I thought about these things, but not about the erosion of our savory cake, which we saved for a special occasion, not for moments of laundry and sadness. Are you okay down there? my husband beckoned. And with a mouthful of cake, I replied, trying not to choke, I’m fine!
The cake became a symbolic balance of self-preservation and cake-preservation, a tug-of-war between swallowing sadness and admitting my secret felony. (For once, I looked forward to doing laundry.) My husband only asked about it once, about whether I thought it was still good, and I mustered that I’d tried a bit and maybe it was time to throw the rest out. Which I did. On our second anniversary.
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